My Wifely Duties

Back for another and this lesson is great so pay attention for those who are married or wish to be married. the Bible tells us that marriage is an entity ordained by God and starts from the beginning of the Earth. However, if you are like myself and my husband, sometimes we are not taught how to be husbands or wives. Most of the time, we do not have great examples. By the time I was 16, my parents were legally separated. Even when my dad was home, he was not emotionally, mentally, or physically available to his children so when I did see my parents communicate, they were arguing or barely speaking. I did not have the best example of effective communication. So, this past week with all the arguing that my husband and I been doing, we decided to take a break from speaking to each other (crazy I know). I do what I always do, Go to God. While in prayer, God told me to go read 1 Corinthians 7. In this chapter, Paul is answering questions concerning marriage and in verse 5 he speaks about taking a mutual break from each other to fast and pray. This is what my husband and I decided to do. God gave me peace about our break. My husband fasted for our marriage and I fasted for my soul (Hmmm more information later). So, remember earlier in the blog post that fasting is a method used to obtain answers from God. It is used to lessen your soul so your spirit man can ignite and God can speak to you directly. So during my fast, I was in prayer and God told me that I was not being the best wife. Huh? God, what are you saying? I have tried everything for him and with him. I have prayed for him, I have fasted, I gave up work, friends, and pretty much have given up my body for this marriage. See, my pride had taken a hit. I assumed I was being a perfect wife and the entire sentence that I said to God was pride. All I used was “I” and did not put God in remembrance of what he told to me do for my marriage. But my soul was broken because of all the pain I had been through concerning this marriage. After that realization, God said you are not speaking to your husband kindly. If you know me then you know that I have a big personality with a vibrant voice. I am easily excitable so when I am frustrated or angry, my voice can go up another octave. When arguing with my husband at times, he would yell out. Please stop yelling at me, you are treating me like my mom. Now, I wrote about my husband’s mother last week and remember, she was an angry and bitter woman so you can only imagine how terrible she would speak to my husband. So after discovering that I was communicating with my husband wrong, I heard “Go read Esther and go reread the book of Ruth.” I always try to be obedient to God, so I read Esther and the King orders for the Jewish people to be killed. Now Esther was Jewish, and Mordecai went to speak to her about what was happening and what the King said. So she prepared the King a great feast and then she began to speak to him. But before she would start her sentence she would say, “If it pleases the king.” This small phrase stopped the killing of the Jewish people and she even got a holiday created “Purim” that is still followed today and all she said was, “If it pleases the king.” Esther was a badddd girl. She was beautiful and knew exactly how to get the King to bend to her. She cooked him a meal and spoke to him nicely. Now this reminds me of the old saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Now for Ruth, she was a soft spoken, young lady who was exactly obedient to her mother-in-law’s directions. She did exactly what Naomi said and she caught the guy. So what was God trying to tell me? It is simple, if I am obedient to God and learn how to speak to my husband in a different manner then I would probably cut down on the arguing which would help my marriage. Remember, the Bible tells us in Proverbs 15:1-2 that, “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger and The tongue of the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth out foolishness.” And this is what I said to that revelation. God, how am I supposed to do that with all this hurt? I know that your words are sweeter than honey but hurt can cause filters and those can cause me to respond poorly. So I prayed for God to renew my soul. Just take it away so I can do what He had asked. I had to apologize to my husband for the times my voice made him feel less than a husband. This is my wifely duty. The queen is the baddest piece on the board, but a great chess player knows how to play her. This is what God wanted to be done. So this week, I started some of the tough conversations with “if it pleases the king.” It would make my husband laugh, calm my spirit, and lessen the tension to some tough conversations. It is our jobs as helpmeets to make sure that we do not turn our husbands/boyfriends or wives/girlfriends to wrath but to steer them back to God. This week my husband learned that his filters are the cause to many of our arguments, so he is seeking God for deliverance instead of fighting with me and all it took was my apology and soft response of “if it pleases the king.” One of my wifely duties is to create a home full of God’s love and I learned that this week. If you are a person with a mad voice like me or even a person who argues then pray Psalms 141 over yourself. God, I pray that You set a watch over our lips, and you create in us a clean heart. Renew a right spirit in us so we can be the people of God that you have called for us to be in all of our relationships, In Jesus Name. What are you saying to family or friends? Are you spreading light or darkness to people? Sometimes we have to go low in our relationships so our partners can go high. I did not think I could go lower but God did. Tune in next week for the blog, “Before I meet you,” where I dive deep into the steps needed to take for wholeness before walking into your new relationships. Love you guys and see you next week.