We are the Germans

I know everyone is pondering from my last post, This is not a Cookie Cutter Love Story, about what happened in 2022 to propel me to want to speak about it. Well 2022 was a trying year for me and my relationship with God. In fact, 2022 was the toughest year of my life and I worked for Waffle House. The things that transpired makes me wonder, even to this day. Our relationship started off as most, we just couldn’t get enough of each other. My husband lived in Hawaii while I was still residing in Atlanta, GA. We had a 5-hour time difference between us and thousands of miles of flying to even see each other. So we spent most of the time on the phone. Through the phone, we grew to love each other and had our first in person meet and greet in San Jose, California on February 4, 2022. To me he was odd and after seeing him in person, I knew for sure this is definitely the guy for my life. Before heading to San Jose, alone to meet a guy I never seen in person or be around, my spiritual cousin and sister gave me a pep talk. My spiritual cousin took one look at my now husband’s photo and she repeatedly stated, “Yep, he the one. That’s it right there.” My sister, as hood as she can be, explained to me how to not have sex with a guy when you go on a trip with him and how to always protect yourself. As I boarded that plane to San Jose, I was ready to meet him. Again, my husband is odd so our first conversation when he stepped off the plane was hilarious. I pretty much told him that “He tried it.” And if you know me then you know my attitude and every inch of my body was in the head roll I gave him at our first meet up. We spent the entire weekend kissing, hugging, and holding hands. Remember, we could not get enough of each other. After I left that space with him, I knew he was the one whom my soul loves (Song of Solomon 3:4). I came back home and decided to tell a few people that this individual actually existed in my life. Oh my God God (lol) I actually have a man. I sent a picture of us to my spiritual aunt and she also confirmed that he was the one. I finally got it right because of you God. Thank you! That well feeling was soon over because we could not stop arguing. We had to argue almost everyday for a month. Wait a minute God, you finally sent my husband and we can’t stop arguing, what sense does this make. Trust me folks, it didn’t make sense. Growing up in a household like mine, I knew this to be true, If it doesn’t make sense to your natural mind then it is something spiritual. Remembering that saying, I looked at the situation clearly and the question I asked myself was… does the devil want anything good in our lives, NO. But because he comes to steal, kill, and destroy, he has a job to do. The devil does not want marriage especially a supernatural one. Marriage is what the kingdom of God stands for, look at Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Boaz and Ruth. The devil’s job is to try to stop anything that will bring the kingdom of God glory. So of course with all the arguing… I went to God, the only source I've known and after 2021, I knew to stand firm on his promise. So as I was on my way to work on Tuesday morning, I heard him say, “Stay the course and it will work out in the end, it is all about my will for your life.” So I stayed the course and my husband and I started premarital counseling….. did it help, yes, it helped my husband. Sorry hun, but my husband had been married before so he brought more baggage, rejection, and pain than I to the relationship. This is reality folks, sometimes your spouse will not be fitted into a beautiful bow and package for you. Sometimes, it will not be Christmas morning in your relationship. Look at me, I waited on God and my husband was still a tough nut to crack. BUT WE MUST BELIEVE GOD’S PROMISE. It doesn’t matter what it looks like, it doesn’t matter what it seems like, believe and God will do the rest. See I was ready to do the work and listen to God’s voice clearly because of 2021. He has to ready you for his purpose. Because God knew my faith was ready, he challenged me. I heard clear on my off day in May to “Spend the summer in Hawaii.” Huh, what you talkin’ bout God. Do you know I make 6 figures? Do you know that I have bills? Do you know that alot of people depend on me? I heard again, “Spend the summer in Hawaii.” Folks, sorry to tell you this again but GOD DOES NOT CARE. And after speaking to my spiritual cousin while she was doing my hair, I knew I had to spend the summer in Hawaii. As I boarded my delta flight, I sent a text message to my oldest brother in tears. I had never been away from home no more than a week. I was afraid and doubted God every step of the way. I was afraid because not only did God want me to go to Hawaii (someplace I had never been) but also spend the summer with a man (Oh my Jesus). I stepped off the plane in Kona and my summer begun. We argued all the time and I was sick most days. I even fell behind on the internship work (Yes, I was finishing my degree too). As I prayed in the morning and evening, all I could hear was “finish your assignment, you are there for his soul.” I begin to doubt God as some would if you were in the thick of things like I was, Rachel doubted God and if you want to read her story, start at Genesis 29. God made her barren but she had to trust God even through doubt. Her husband, Jacob, worked 14 years just to receive her hand in marriage and when it was time for her to perform her wifely duties, she couldn't. But her purpose was bigger so God stopped an area in her life so his kingdom can receive the glory. I truly started doubting God and the summer came to a boil on July 3rd, THE DAY I ALMOST DIED. No folks, my husband didn’t try to kill me but the devil. It took supernatural intervention from my mother and two of my spiritual aunts to take me out from the hands of the devil. I had a seizure and my now husband had to continually rub my chest (close to my heart) to keep me awake and stop me from dying, as we proceeded to the hospital. I was at peace with dying (which is what the devil wanted) but guess what, healing is the children’s bread and as soon as we turned into the hospital's parking lot, I WAS FINE. See, God is funny because he wanted to teach me something that day. All that and no damage was done to my body, something spiritual happened to me. After that, I just stop throwing up and the summer proceeded on. I left in August when my assignment was over. And I finally got my answer, after two months of a dreadful summer, of why I had to go to Hawaii. In September, my husband explained to me that his heart was becoming bitter and he was angry that his life was not working out the way he planned. In fact if I hadn’t come to Hawaii, he was going to just live off the land, cut everyone off, and forget about God. My husband is too important to God for him to walk away and God knew that my husband would only look at me for reassurance that in all things, God workouts in the end. So God had to send me to Hawaii for my husband’s soul. HIS PURPOSE IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS. My almost death showed my husband that God truly existed. My daily praying showed my husband what it is like to have a close relationship with God. If I would of left mid-summer because it was becoming difficult, my husband would of gave up on a Godly life where his promises are Yes and Amen. A life where God will never withhold no good thing from you. The devil would of preferred me dead than for my husband’s soul and spirit to be for God. But all things work together for our good for those who love the Lord and are called to his purpose (Romans 8:28). It’s just purpose and when you start realizing that every friendship/relationship that you’ve had or been in has everything to do with your purpose when you are purposeful living for God. Do you know your purpose? What about the purpose of your relationships? Here’s my advice, pray Ephesians 1:17-23 daily. My aunt told me to start reading this and I discovered my purpose in the world. God, I pray as your son/daughter reads this scripture, you come in and allow them to know you, for them to discover their purpose, and why you, God, is all that matters. Tune in next week for the blog titled “Strip me Lord”, as I explain the steps God put me through so I could discover my purpose, and the real reason my husband proposed even after his bitterness and anger towards marriage. Love you guys and see you next week.